a day in the life of a cat and dog

This was posted on craigslist and I wanted to repost it here in case it is gone after a week. Very funny:

a day in the life of a cat and dog

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Reply to: pers-559791125@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-02-01, 4:34PM EST

The Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine l avishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an Attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities.
However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advanta ge.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and Snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously Retarded.
The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the Guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an Elevated Cell, so he is safe.
For now.

a day in the life of a cat and dog

Matt's Idea Blog: How to read a lot of books in a short time

Stumbled on this article but since I have a ton of books also I'd like to plow through, I'll have to try this technique. It also got me thinking about the Aversion Therapy mentioned early in his post. I should make uncomfortable those things that I want to do less of like watching TV. It means giving up my comfortable recliner. Ah well someone on craigslist will enjoy it.

the most useful technique comes from Jason Womack [3], and synthesizes nicely the most common ideas. In a nutshell, he says he reads the book four times:

1. Table of contents, glossary, index.
2. Anything in bold, titles, and subtitles.
3. First line of every paragraph.
4. Entire book

Here's the twist: Steps 1-3 should only take about 10 minutes. To capture relevant information he uses a note-taking scheme involving putting dots in margins, and cross-referencing them in an index in the book's front. When done, he transfers them to a text file.

Matt's Idea Blog: How to read a lot of books in a short time

Rules Kids Won't Learn in School

I'll have to remember to teach this to my kids:

Rule #1. Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teenager uses the phrase "it's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, they realized Rule #1.

Rule #2. The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as your school does. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it's not fair. (See Rule No. 1)

Rule #3. Sorry, you won't make $50,000 a year right out of high school. And you won't be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a Gap label.

Rule #4. If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'til you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he is not going ask you how feel about it.

Rule #5. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all weekend.

Rule #6. It's not your parents' fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of "It's my life," and "You're not the boss of me," and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn 18, it's on your dime. Don't whine about it or you'll sound like a baby boomer.

Rule #7. Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents' generation try delousing the closet in your bedroom.

Rule #8. Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get summers off. Nor even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don't get a new life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on.

Rule #9. Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be perky or as polite as Jennifer Aniston.

Rule #10. Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.

Rule #11. Enjoy this while you can. Sure, parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be kid. Maybe you should start now.

You're welcome.

Rules Kids Won't Learn in School

Drunk History vol. 1 - Featuring Michael Cera

Freaking hilarious!

Fighting the good fight and meeting Negroponte

This is a great post which is funny and makes you think.

"Hi, I'm Nicholas Negroponte, and I founded the MIT Media Lab, ran it, and then quit so I could build laptops for every single child in the entire world."
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Of course, I said the only thing I could: "Sheeeee-iiit, negro... ponte."
No, I wish. What I said was, "Oh my god! I know you! You're crazy!"
He looked just a little taken aback. I think I even heard him mutter, "Adumbasssezwhat?"

Call Me Fishmeal.: You've Gotta Fight for Your Right to... OLPC!

Registration-free commenting and piracy numbers

Couple of interesting articles. First on the defense of having a registration-free commenting system:

Further evidence that the Ni-Chan paradox still holds:

Registration keeps out good posters. People with lives will tend to ignore forums with a registration process.

Registration lets in bad posters. Children and Internet addicts tend to have free time to go register an account and check their e-mail for the confirmation message. They will generally make your forum a waste of bandwidth.

Registration attracts trolls. If someone is interested in destroying a forum, a registration process only adds to the excitement of a challenge. Trolls are not out to protect their own reputation. They seek to destroy other peoples' "reputation..

Anonymity counters vanity. On a forum where registration is required, or even where people give themselves names, a clique is developed of the elite users, and posts deal as much with who you are as what you are posting. On an anonymous forum, if you can't tell who posts what, logic will overrule vanity.

Updated data from Topix on registration-free commenting (Skrentablog)

And second, an old but interesting recount about software piracy for a company owner:

http://www.ambrosiasw.com/forums/?showtopic=34059

10 Golden Lessons from Albert Einstein at LifeTweak

Another inspirational and great list for the new year:

Every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving - Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein was an amazing physicist. He figured out so many universal principles and equations that he was way ahead of his fellow scientists at any point of time. But he is also remembered for another thing; a quality which made people call him a genius: his words. Prof. Einstein was a philosopher who clearly understood the laws of success and explained them like the way he did with his equations. Here is a list of 10 things out of the numerously wonderful things he had said; 10 golden lessons that you can put to use in your everyday life.

1. A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.

Most people don’t try new things because of their fear of failure. Failing is not something to be afraid of. It is often the losers who learn more about winning than the winners. Our mistakes always give us opportunities to learn and grow.

2. Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.

30 years from now, you won’t possible remember what chapters you had in your science book; you’d only remember what you learn on your way. Life lessons stay with you forever. Real education starts from within.

3. I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.

When you reflect on how far we humans have come from the prehistoric caves to mind-blowing technological advancements, you would feel the power of imagination. What we have now was built from the imagination of our forefathers. What we will have in future will be built from our imagination.

4. The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

Creativity and uniqueness often depends on how well you hide your sources. You can get inspired and influenced by other great people; but when you are on stage with the whole world watching, you must become a unique, individual force that learnt different values from different people.

5. The value of a man should be seen in what he gives and not in what he is able to receive. Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.

If you think of all the top people in the world, they would have added something of value to the world. You must give in order to take. When your purpose is contributing or adding value to the world, you will be elevated to a higher level of living.

6. There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.

When nothing is a miracle, you gain the power of doing anything you want and you have no limits. And when everything is a miracle, you stop by to appreciate even the smallest of beautiful things in the world. Thinking both ways will give you a productive and happy life.

7. When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than any talent for abstract, positive thinking.

Dreaming about all the great things that you can achieve is the key to a life filled with positivity. Let your imagination run amuck and create the world that you would wish to be in.

8. In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep, one must above all be a sheep oneself.

If you want to become a very successful entrepreneur, you must start a business right away. Wishing to become one, but fearing the consequences will not help. The same applies to everything – in order to win a game, one must above all play the game.

9. You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.

Learn the rules of your game and start playing it best. Keep competing like your life depended on it. And after a while you will have no one else but you to compete against. At that point, better your best.

10. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.

Intelligent people ask. Keep questioning yourself and others to find solutions. This will help gain knowledge and analyze your growth in all walks of life.

10 Golden Lessons from Albert Einstein at LifeTweak - Lifestyle Tweaks and Pointers on Self Improvement, Productivity and Positivity

Interesting Software Development Articles

The Mythical 5% - Talk given by B. Eckel about Software Development.

They Write the Right Stuff - About the NASA software engineers.

Fare-Finder Shootout: Mobissimo Wins - GigaOM

Going to have to try this sometime and see how well it works.

Mobissimo 

Fare-Finder Shootout: Mobissimo Wins - GigaOM

Get a human voice on the phone

This seems like a great idea and database. It's a collection of companies, phone numbers and the method's to bypass the automated systems and reach a human being on the other end. I just hope it's kept updated.

gethuman 500 database from Paul English

SmugMug Picasa Uploader

Finally someone has created the plugin I've been thinking about making for almost a year now. You can now upload to smugmug.com directly from Google Picasa.

Great plugin, thanks meejer.com!

SmugMug Picasa Uploader

Update [03-23-08]: It looks like this is the new uploader or at least this one works:

New Uploader

Nutrigrain Ad

Oh Yeahhhh!!! I feel great!

Best cup of chai this side of Bombay

I'm a chai addict. I even like the starbucks when I can't have the home version. I've never been to this place below but I'm going try the recipe and see if it lives up to the reputation.

Raman Bechar's Chai

This is a home version of the chai at Coastside Gourmet Coffee Tea & Health Nuts in Half Moon Bay. Owner Raman Bechar and his son, Raj, make each chai to order by frothing the milk, tea, sugar and spice mix together with their espresso machine. This recipe allows you to prepare it on the stovetop.

INGREDIENTS:

1 cup whole milk

2 teaspoons Tea India tea leaves (see Note), or a blend of Darjeeling and Assam tea leaves

1 tablespoon sugar, or to taste

Two pinches Chai Masala (see recipe)

INSTRUCTIONS:

Combine the milk, tea leaves and sugar in a small, heavy saucepan over medium-high heat. As it slowly comes to a simmer, swirl often to incorporate the sugar and keep an eye on the heat to prevent the milk from burning. A thin film will form on the surface and the milk will turn golden.

When the milk comes to a low boil, reduce heat, add a pinch of spice mix and simmer gently, swirling occasionally, for 3 minutes.

Set a small strainer over a tea cup. To create foam, hold the saucepan a foot or more above the cup and pour in the chai, then let rest for a minute or two. Dust with a small pinch of spice mix.

Yields 1 cup

Note: Raman Bechar uses the imported Tea India brand, which is for sale at his cafe and at Indian grocers.

PER CUP: 200 calories, 8 g protein, 24 g carbohydrate, 8 g fat (5 g saturated), 33 mg cholesterol, 120 mg sodium, 0 fiber.

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Chai Masala

The exact proportion of spices in Bechar's chai masala, or spice blend, is a house secret. This recipe is an approximation and will make enough for multiple cups of chai. Be sure to use fresh spices.

INGREDIENTS:

1 teaspoon ground green cardamom

1/2 teaspoon ground ginger

1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper

1/4 teaspoon ground cloves

1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon

INSTRUCTIONS:

Combine all spices in a small bowl. Stir well to blend.

Yields 2 1/4 teaspoons

Best cup of chai this side of Bombay

EDUTRUE: Ten Mistakes In Education by Roger Schank

EDUTRUE: Ten Mistakes In Education by Roger Schank

Ten Mistakes In Education

By Roger Schank

Founding Director, The Institute for the Learning Sciences (ILS)

Obviously, I believe that the school system is making a great many mistakes. Here are my ten favorites, favorite not because I like them but because eradicating them would go so far towards helping kids learn:

Mistake #1: SCHOOLS ACT AS IF LEARNING CAN BE DISASSOCIATED FROM DOING.

There really is no learning without doing. There is the appearance of learning without doing when we ask children to memorize stuff. But adults know that they learn best on the job, from experience, by trying things out. Children learn best that way, too. If there is nothing to actually do in a subject area we want to teach children it may be the case that there really isn't anything that children ought to learn in that subject area.

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Mistake #2: SCHOOLS BELIEVE THEY HAVE THE JOB OF ASSESSMENT AS PART OF THEIR NATURAL ROLE.

Assessment is not the job of the schools. Products ought to be assessed by the buyer of those products, not the producer of those products. Let the schools do the best job they can and then let the buyer beware. Schools must concentrate on learning and teaching, not testing and comparing.

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Mistake #3: SCHOOLS BELIEVE THEY HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO CREATE STANDARD CURRICULA.

Why should everyone know the same stuff? What a dull world it would be if everyone knew only the same material. Let children choose where they want to go, and with proper guidance they will choose well and create an alive and diverse society.

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Mistake #4: TEACHERS BELIEVE THEY OUGHT TO TELL STUDENTS WHAT THEY THINK IT IS IMPORTANT TO KNOW.

There isn't all that much that it is important to know. There is a lot that it is important to know how to do, however. Teachers should help students figure out how to do stuff the students actually want to do.

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Mistake #5: SCHOOLS BELIEVE INSTRUCTION CAN BE INDEPENDENT OF MOTIVATION FOR ACTUAL USE.

We really have to get over the idea that some stuff is just worth knowing even if you never do anything with it. Human memories happily erase stuff that has no purpose, so why try to fill up children's heads with such stuff? Concentrate on figuring out why someone would ever want to know something before you teach it, and teach the reason, in a way that can be believed, at the same time.

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Mistake #6: SCHOOLS BELIEVE STUDYING IS AN IMPORTANT PART OF LEARNING.

Practice is an important part of learning, not studying. Studying is a complete waste of time. No one ever remembers the stuff they cram into their heads the night before the exam, so why do it? Practice, on the other hand, makes perfect. But, you have to be practicing a skill that you actually want to know how to perform.

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Mistake #7: SCHOOLS BELIEVE THAT GRADING ACCORDING TO AGE GROUP IS AN INTRINSIC PART OF THE ORGANIZATION OF A SCHOOL.

This is just a historical accident and it's a terrible idea. Age-grouped grades are one of the principal sources of terror for children in school, because they are always feeling they are not as good as someone else or better than someone else, and so on. Such comparisons and other social problems caused by age-similar grades cause many a child to have terrible confidence problems. Allowing students to help those who are younger, on the other hand, works well for both parties.

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Mistake #8: SCHOOLS BELIEVE CHILDREN WILL ACCOMPLISH THINGS ONLY BY HAVING GRADES TO STRIVE FOR.

Grades serve as motivation for some children, but not for all. Some children get very frustrated by the arbitrary use of power represented by grades and simply give up.

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Mistake #9: SCHOOLS BELIEVE DISCIPLINE IS AN INHERENT PART OF LEARNING.

Old people especially believe this, probably because schools were seriously rigid and uptight in their day. The threat of a ruler across the head makes children anxious and quiet. It does not make them learn. It makes them afraid to fail, which is a different thing altogether.

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Mistake #10: SCHOOLS BELIEVE STUDENTS HAVE A BASIC INTEREST IN LEARNING WHATEVER IT IS SCHOOLS DECIDE TO TEACH THEM.

What kid would choose learning mathematics over learning about animals, trucks, sports, or whatever? Is there one? Good. Then, teach him mathematics. Leave the other children alone.

Experiment: Surviving a Month Without Internet

Poets&Writers, Inc.

Good article and some common sense to apply in your own daily lives.

Rock, paper, scissors - the loser

Motivational Posters for those who love bikes

Motivational Posters for those who love bikes

Aging, longevity genes and red wine

Will research into "longevity genes" help us live longer and healthier lives?

This was a great segment on the Nova show. You've might have heard that red wine and cutting your food intake is good for you but after watching this, you might learn the science behind it.

I'm now trying to drink a glass or two of red wine everyday. Can be pricey. So I recommend finding some good and cheap red wines.

Any recommendations?

Check it out: NOVA | scienceNOW | Aging | PBS

Why Your Free Time is Boring - lifehack.org

Very interesting article that might change your perception of work and play.

I certainly enjoy my job but you have to find and sometimes even create that happy place. 

Why Your Free Time is Boring - lifehack.org

Things I wish I’d known when I was younger - lifehack.org

Although it's good as a refresher too:

Most of it doesn’t matter.

The greatest source of misery and hatred in this world is clinging to past hurts.

Waiting to do something until you can be sure of doing it exactly right means waiting for ever.

Following the latest fashion, in work or in life, is spiritual and intellectual suicide.

If people complain that you’re too fond of going your own way and aren’t fitting in, you must be on the right track.

If you make your work your life, you’re making your life into hard work.

The quickest and simplest way to wreck any relationship is to listen to gossip.

Trying to please other people is largely a futile activity.

Every winner is destined to be a loser in due course.

You can rarely, if ever, please, placate, change, or mollify an asshole.

Everything takes twice as long as you plan for and produces results about half as good as you hoped.

People are oddly consistent.

However hard you try, you can’t avoid being yourself.

When it comes to blatant lies, there are none more egregious than budget figures.

The loudest noise in the world is the sound of people whining.

 

Read more here:

Things I wish I’d known when I was younger - lifehack.org